Don’t Let Perfectionism take Away the Thrill — 3 Effective Ways to manage it

“Don’t try to make it perfect. Instead, make it interesting!” — An interior designers’ advice.

I read this quote in the book ‘The things you can see only when you slow down’ by Haemin Sunim (Haemin is a Zen Buddhist teacher). It’s a beautiful quote with a strong lesson to remind ourselves to — ease a bit, don’t let perfectionism take away the thrill!

Many a times, we are so engrossed in achieving the perfection that we lose the sight of the very purpose we had taken up a task. The other day my friend had posted a painting on whatsapp status, which she and her partner had painted themselves for their new home. Here it is:

Image Credit: Deepti KS ( thanks, my friend!)

Does it look perfect to you- the colors, the painting stroke, the figures drawn. No. Somewhat no. But still, they went ahead, got it framed, put it on the walls out there and announced it to the world of this small art piece they are so proud of. This painting will certainly draw anyone’s attention who is sitting in their home bar while enjoying few drinks! The hand-made painting with an interesting thought on it “ drink happy thoughts” shows their philosophy which makes it a great addition to their home decor. Had they longed for their art to be perfect, their mind paralysed by the thought what the outside world will think of it ( may brush it aside as children’s art), would they have ever put this art on the wall? No. They chose to enjoy the activity rather than focusing on too much intricacies to make it a perfect one.

But it’s not easy for many of us who are are dealing with constant pressure to be perfect in everything we do. And I include myself in ‘us’. Coming from the consulting world, I was always daunted by the fear what if I fail to impress them with my presentations, what if I fail to meet the high standards. In all this, I missed the fun part of consulting in the initial years of my career. I unnecessarily put a lot of pressure on myself to go beyond expectations every time and put myself under stress. The reality struck me when I started noticing its effect on people around me at work and at home.

So what did I do to manage perfectionism? Here are my top three rules that I followed and have helped me so far:

Image Credits: Photo by Kelvin Valerio from Pexels

1. Being mindful of the thoughts and trigger points: Being aware of your thoughts and the trigger points is the very first step in overcoming perfectionism. For me, the regular practice of meditation and journaling has helped to pay attention to my thoughts, my fears and identify the patterns. Just being aware how I allow perfectionism to overpower everything else in my everyday life has helped me to identify the trigger points to take controlling actions.
2. Being open to the thought of committing mistakes and being easy on yourself : Making mistakes are perfectly normal thing to do, it is definitely not the end of the world — this is so simple yet sometimes so hard to follow. Allow yourself to make mistakes and accept it. The way I practised it is by picking new hobbies in which I was not good at — learning wood work and carpentry from my partner, picking new instruments such as Ukulele and flute. Being new at these skills, I made mistakes and I accepted them. It also shifted my focus from being a perfectionist to being more open to enjoy things while learning to be better at it.
3. Being open to criticism: My father brought to my notice that I took criticisms personally. I would often lose my temper whenever someone criticised my work, my opinions etc. I started making deliberate attempts to listen to those remarks and contemplate on it. I discovered that constructive criticisms were often helpful and were directed to help me grow and perform better. My actions cannot be perfect always and I need to listen, embrace criticisms in a positive manner.

To summarise, perfectionism has always been a double-edge sword. Ensure that you don’t forget to enjoy the beauty of doing something while being lost at doing it perfectly. If fear is driving your perfectionist attitude and causing you high level of stress, then it’s time to take a pause and reflect — what are you trying to achieve and what is the price you are paying for it?

In case you have more ideas and suggestions on how to manage perfectionism, I would love to hear them. Please share your views in comment section.