Challenging Social Norms & Ageism: Effective way youth can bring change in outlook
The other day my mother-in-law gave us a call in the morning and asked in a low tone “How about getting a tattoo?”. Unknowing what is the reason we casually replied “Everyone has preferences. We both don’t like to have it as of now.” But then we asked her why all of sudden she is talking about about it. She told us that kids of the family ( we live in a joint family) are planing to get a tattoo. They all are pursuing her to get it done as well as she accidentally mentioned that she wishes to have one too. We had never known she wanted to have a tattoo! We both looked at each other, smiled and asked her “Do you want to get one?” And she promptly replied, “Yes, I desire to have one. Wouldn’t it be cool? But at this age, I am 60+. What will people think?”. Well, we quickly brushed away these assumptions of the age and society and gave our thumbs up. And then went on to discuss the design of the tattoo she wanted and why. While I made a quick search on tattoo designs on web, my mind kept thinking about her dilemma on the age and society.
I can’t say about the entire world, but in India, social norms are still prevalent — what society / group think we ought to do at every phase in life. And these social norms are often unspoken rule of the societies we are part of. Though, with development, society is accepting changes for good. We have examples in the Indian diaspora such as famous Falguni Nayar — CEO and founder of Nykaa or lesser known ones such as Dilip ad Pooja Chauhan — a couple from Indore who chose to go on pan-India trip on Royal Enfield post retirement, who are setting new standards of doing what you want to do. These may be one in a million examples today, but change is happening.
So, the natural question that comes to my mind is — how can we become a part of this change?
I always believe what Mahatma Gandhi said — Be the change you want to see in the world.
It is individuals like us who form a society. As individuals, we need to embrace change in our thinking and in our way of conduct. So next time, when anyone comes with an idea which may seem crazy enough, don’t be judgemental and discard it based on someone’s age, gender etc. Instead, here is what we can strive to do:
- Listen to the idea: The best gift we can give to someone is listen to them. Let’s try to listen to the idea with an open-mind and without our preconceived notions clouding our perspectives.
- Understand the motive: Understand the motive behind the idea — why do they want to pursue it. It helps us to gain a lot of insights on their personalities, passion and desires which we might have easily missed.
- Have open conversations: Having an open conversation always help. Try to share point of view without being biased. And in case we feel our view is biased, its fair enough to let them know the reasons for it without having them figure out themselves. This is the least we can do, be reasonable with our views.
- Closure: Wish them good luck with their idea or plan of action. This is the best we can do if we are not onboard with them. And if at all everything clicks, lets try to extend our help to them in whatever manner we can.
To conclude, there are so many things an average person can achieve but often people withdraw themselves based on different reasons, mostly society pressures. Lets try to give them and ourselves a chance to bring change on how we perceive some of the social norms which may be irrelevant now and be a part of positive change for a better and more liberal world.
P.S.: Having written this, I realized how much this approach is similar to the consulting approach wherein I follow the exact same steps with my clients. So many learnings to bring from work place in our daily lives and vice versa. Only if we have time to pause, reflect and then act!
